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Arguments are a natural part of life. Whether it’s a disagreement with a loved one, a colleague, or even a stranger, conflict has a way of testing our patience, emotions, and faith. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to focus on proving a point, defending our pride, or striving to “win” the argument. However, as followers of Christ, we are called to approach conflicts differently. The best way to win an argument isn’t by overpowering or outsmarting the other person—it’s by surrendering to the Lord.
What Does It Mean to Surrender to the Lord in Conflict?
Surrendering to the Lord during an argument means pausing to seek His guidance and aligning our actions with His will. It involves letting go of pride, anger, and the need to be right, and instead choosing humility, love, and understanding. This approach doesn’t mean avoiding disagreements altogether; rather, it transforms the way we handle them, turning them into opportunities for growth and reconciliation.
Biblical Principles for Surrendering During Conflict
1. Seek God’s Wisdom First
Before responding in an argument, take a moment to pray and ask for God’s guidance. James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” By seeking His wisdom, we can respond with grace instead of reacting out of anger or frustration.
2. Practice Humility
Pride is often at the root of many arguments. Proverbs 16:18 warns, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” When we surrender our pride to the Lord, we open ourselves to listening, understanding, and valuing the other person’s perspective.
3. Be Slow to Speak and Quick to Listen
James 1:19 teaches, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Surrendering to the Lord means exercising patience and genuinely listening to others, even when emotions are running high.
4. Respond with Love and Kindness
Amid conflict, it’s tempting to lash out or hold grudges. However, Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to speak words that build others up: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helps build others up according to their needs.” By responding with kindness, we reflect God’s love, even in challenging moments.
5. Let God Be Your Defender
Surrendering to the Lord means trusting Him to fight our battles and defend us when necessary. Exodus 14:14 reminds us, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Instead of striving to prove ourselves right, we can rest in His justice and truth.
The Outcome of Surrender
When we surrender to the Lord during an argument, we may not always “win” in the worldly sense, but we gain something far greater: peace, spiritual growth, and stronger relationships. By prioritizing God’s will over our own, we can turn conflict into a chance to glorify Him and reflect His character.
Practical Steps to Surrender During an Argument
Pause and Pray: Before responding, take a moment to pray for guidance and a calm spirit.
Examine Your Heart: Ask yourself if your motives are rooted in pride or love.
Choose Your Words Wisely: Speak with kindness and avoid escalating the conflict.
Be Willing to Apologize: A sincere apology can heal wounds and restore harmony.
Let Go of the Need to Be Right: Trust that God’s truth will prevail in His timing.
Conclusion
The next time you find yourself in an argument, remember that the true victory comes not from proving your point, but from surrendering to the Lord. By relying on His wisdom and grace, you can navigate conflict with humility, love, and faith, turning every disagreement into an opportunity to reflect His glory. In surrender, we discover the power of God’s peace and the strength to build bridges instead of walls.
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